I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
