i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
