Plan B is the new Plan A
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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