What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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