accomplished twins. life is a go
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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