There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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