how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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