Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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