hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
