Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Michael Bay diarrhea
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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