The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
