I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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