I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
