white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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