She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
