Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
