and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
