Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
