What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
