She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
