Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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