I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
