thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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