Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
there is glitter all over my balls
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
