So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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