marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
