Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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