can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
