i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
