just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
