Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
