where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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