omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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