just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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