P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We need a shit load of segways right now
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
