if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
