what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
