she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
