I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
