her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
