maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I wear drunk well.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
