I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
