is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
