At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
