The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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