I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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