Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
