I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
