I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
