I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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