My friends, they love my intelligence
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
