That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
